23 July, 2009

What Now !?!?

this was going to be a post about my new job! which i will still cover:
i work at Borders, its a lot like working at Borders. if anything it's kind of a step back in my life but it's employment for the next 6 weeks. i'll take what i can get at the moment.
instead this is a post about how i now have to apartment hunt, or i was going to apartment hunt now i'm thinking of just staying at a hostel for the next 6 weeks then getting out of NZ before it strips me of all the dignity i have left.
... the explanation ...
so i'm about to head to my second day of work, i'm not exactly excited but i am at least kind of happy to be working. i step out into the hallway and the guy who lives next to me, and is the floor manager for (and son of) the landlord stops me to talk to me. he is a chubby and sweaty asian guy of indeterminate age, probably mid to late 20s but looks like a 10 year old. he proceeds to ask be who i am and what i'm doing there, i explain that i am living here while the guy who rents the place is back in Canada. i am paying him rent but just what he pays (though that turned out to be a bit complicated). see before i even got to Auckland i asked this guy 3 times if things were going to be cool with his landlord, and he assured me he spoke to them and it was fine, and not like i need to lie/fake OK it was supposed to be for real OK. so when this sweaty chubby boy tells me that it isn't OK i'm confused and annoyed, then he explains that i can either sign my own contract (for more per week) on this shitty place, or leave and pay rent on the time from when he spoke to me till i do go, and i have to pay a bond for the key card for the front door and elevator. i didn't have much time or will to fight as i had to head down the hill to work, so i spent most of the day with it festering in the back of my head. then when i got home i had to talk to the sweaty boy like 4 more times and his mother too who didn't seem to contribute much to the conversation.
now if this had happened last week when i was still unemployed i would have just called up Air New Zealand and gotten the hell out of the country by the end of the week. but now i have this job, and it's only a 6 week contract (though i would probably be able to stay on at the end? i think?) but i hate calling out sick so i'm not going to just give up on this job two days into it. so now i have to decide what i want to do.
i started to look at apts online and even walked a tremendous way to look at one this morning but as i was walking i started to think.
and i may have made a decision, i'm going to work the 6 weeks for Borders and maybe stay at a hostel for that time. then if i have some cash at the end of it do something exciting and then get on the next plane out of NZ.
i'm mostly just tired of putting so much energy into this city when i don't feel like i'm going to get even half as much back from it. and really in retrospect i should have just done the Holiday part of the visa and then maybe considered the working part. i miss stability and even if it means the stability of my parents couch for a few weeks or moths while i figure out a new plan i think i'd much rather it over the sort of rolling crisis that i feel like this place has been for me.

please give me advice if you have it.
and maybe things will change in the next week or 6 and i will have an all new plan. who knows.

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