26 July, 2009

Hope Springs Eternal ...

my bank account could use some work.
feeling less stressed and panicked then for my last post.
just booked another week at a hostel for Tuesday and have actually done a little apartment hunting.
still not sure if i'm going to stay more then the 6 weeks i'm definitely here but i'm less dead set against getting out of the country.
just need to get back the slight bit of stability i lost in loosing my place.
if anyone hears of someone in Auckland who needs an adorable if neurotic flatmate let me know.

ok more when i get regular internets back.
miss you, send me e-mail based love till i have an address again.

23 July, 2009

What Now !?!?

this was going to be a post about my new job! which i will still cover:
i work at Borders, its a lot like working at Borders. if anything it's kind of a step back in my life but it's employment for the next 6 weeks. i'll take what i can get at the moment.
instead this is a post about how i now have to apartment hunt, or i was going to apartment hunt now i'm thinking of just staying at a hostel for the next 6 weeks then getting out of NZ before it strips me of all the dignity i have left.
... the explanation ...
so i'm about to head to my second day of work, i'm not exactly excited but i am at least kind of happy to be working. i step out into the hallway and the guy who lives next to me, and is the floor manager for (and son of) the landlord stops me to talk to me. he is a chubby and sweaty asian guy of indeterminate age, probably mid to late 20s but looks like a 10 year old. he proceeds to ask be who i am and what i'm doing there, i explain that i am living here while the guy who rents the place is back in Canada. i am paying him rent but just what he pays (though that turned out to be a bit complicated). see before i even got to Auckland i asked this guy 3 times if things were going to be cool with his landlord, and he assured me he spoke to them and it was fine, and not like i need to lie/fake OK it was supposed to be for real OK. so when this sweaty chubby boy tells me that it isn't OK i'm confused and annoyed, then he explains that i can either sign my own contract (for more per week) on this shitty place, or leave and pay rent on the time from when he spoke to me till i do go, and i have to pay a bond for the key card for the front door and elevator. i didn't have much time or will to fight as i had to head down the hill to work, so i spent most of the day with it festering in the back of my head. then when i got home i had to talk to the sweaty boy like 4 more times and his mother too who didn't seem to contribute much to the conversation.
now if this had happened last week when i was still unemployed i would have just called up Air New Zealand and gotten the hell out of the country by the end of the week. but now i have this job, and it's only a 6 week contract (though i would probably be able to stay on at the end? i think?) but i hate calling out sick so i'm not going to just give up on this job two days into it. so now i have to decide what i want to do.
i started to look at apts online and even walked a tremendous way to look at one this morning but as i was walking i started to think.
and i may have made a decision, i'm going to work the 6 weeks for Borders and maybe stay at a hostel for that time. then if i have some cash at the end of it do something exciting and then get on the next plane out of NZ.
i'm mostly just tired of putting so much energy into this city when i don't feel like i'm going to get even half as much back from it. and really in retrospect i should have just done the Holiday part of the visa and then maybe considered the working part. i miss stability and even if it means the stability of my parents couch for a few weeks or moths while i figure out a new plan i think i'd much rather it over the sort of rolling crisis that i feel like this place has been for me.

please give me advice if you have it.
and maybe things will change in the next week or 6 and i will have an all new plan. who knows.

15 July, 2009

First Epistle of Peter

i ended up seriously drunk last week at like 8:30 (free drinks were involved) and came home without much to do. i started chatting with my friend Tynan, because he has just the right kind of weird sleep schedule for good talks at random times. i was sad about things; homesickness, lack of purpose, poor social skills. and we had this conversation:

Tynan: yeah but you send letters
Tynan: carefully considered letters
Tynan: that's like going the full 110%
Me: what does that mean?
Tynan: it's indicative of your care for a person
Tynan:let's do a political analogy
Me: ok?
Tynan: an email is worth 10 votes
Tynan: a phone call, 100 votes
Tynan: a letter, 1000 votes.
Tynan: it's about effort
Tynan: conspicuous consumption, but instead it's like conspicuous feelings or something
Tynan: conspicuous effort
Me: wait i'm confused is this a problem or a good thing?
Tynan: you are the sort of person who sends letters
Tynan: sends collages
Tynan: sends postcards
Tynan: and they are all well-considered, at least as far as i've gotten
Me: thank you
Tynan: the implication is that you actually give a flying fuck about the recipient
Me: that is kind of the point
Tynan: i've dated guys who wouldn't send me even an email from their trip abroad
Tynan: but do you realize how rare that makes you?
Me: no?
Me: i think i get that its rare but i don't understand why
Tynan: maybe you're from a letter-sending clique or something
this conversation really made me feel much better, and i think says a lot about me. it's not that i have bad social skills i just have less instantly noticeable ones and ones that are a little more rare.
as most of you know he's right, maybe you haven't all gotten letters but most of the important people in my life have gotten postcards at this point, and not just lazy "wish you were here" postcards but thorough postcards often chosen just for you (a lamb for Caitlin, gay penguins for Dan). some people have gotten letters and more will in the near future. i have a whole fleet of stationary ready to go and if i weren't doing so much job hunting i would have sent out more. at the moment i'm working on a sort of complicated letter, Amy's boyfriend likes codes and puzzles and so i'm trying to create an interesting puzzle for him to solve. i even wrote a letter to my friend from elementary school who sent me his address on FB when i put up the status message "who should i write a letter to today" and that one was two pages.
and i can't tell you how much i'm jonsesing to send my first care package too. those of you who have received my "collages" and packages of goodness know how much i enjoy assembling a bizarre but well chosen assortment of stuff/crap/art/joy and shipping it off to someone. i've already been making mental lists in my head of all the things i want to get and make for people when i finally have some money coming in.
if you don't believe in my letter/gift prowess i can give you a list of references, all three of my SF roommates, Amy, Paul & Mayo, Becky, et al. really if i could find some way to be a professional gift giver or care package-ist it would be my ideal career.

oh and if you think i might not have your address you should probably send it to me. then check your mailbox (though i am on the other side of the pacific so you might want to give it some time)


07 July, 2009

What am I Doing Here?

well, i've been here for a full month now, and i still don't really have an answer to that question. i didn't really have an actual plan before i got here and what small idea of a plan i had isn't going so well so far.
i'm still job hunting, though i think i've gotten to the point where if i don't change tactics soon i'm defiantly not going to find anything. if i were back in the States i would be hounding everyone i know about publishing jobs (which isn't strictly true but it's easy to think that way from over here) or if things got desperate hit up BN. but here i don't really have the right contacts to get the inside line on jobs and i don't seem to have the social skills (or experience) to get a cafe job. i've already dropped my resume off at just about every bookstore in town. (i didn't give one to the Cookbook shop because it was tiny and there were two people already working there when i went so it seemed like they might need less staff not more.) i don't quite know the ethics/procedure for nagging people into a job. i did start reading What Color is Your Parachute the other day (thanks for the advice Tynan) and it was one of the only books about job hunting that didn't just make me feel more crazy. some of it's advice was a little hokey and would be more useful to me back in the US (and i still want to go back in time and break all the fingers of that first asshole who wrote a god damn thank you note after an interview) but it did a good job of talking me down. at least for now, looking at moneys (which is being annoying in it's own way, more on that later) i have till the end of July to find something before i don't really have a choice.
part of me wouldn't mind getting to the point where i just have to give up and go, i'm still not really liking Auckland all that much. i've meet a few people by now which is nice but so many of the people i meet are travelers and in and out of town, i haven't really made any Kiwi friends yet which could change but we'll see. i'd love to be here on a for real vacation, just going around the country and seeing all the cool things i keep hearing about but actually living here isn't all that exciting. i've seen a bunch of places in Auckland that i like but would like more if i had someone here (i've seen over a dozen places i'd love to go to brunch with Blyth, Caitlin and Kristina) and i don't really have the cash at the moment to get the best out of the city.
on that: because my old bank got bought during the Great Banking SNAFU last year i've been sort of half way between two banks since october. now if my new bank had just gotten on the ball and taken over my account i would have done and international money transfer to my bank here, but because they didn't and there aren't any physical branches near my parents (though there is one of the new bank in walking distance) they couldn't start the process there either. so i had to write my self a check, which i was told would take three weeks to clear. that would have been monday, as it stands now i only really have 40 NZD in my account. though at some point soon there will be 1100NZD in there. so at the moment i'm being super frugal and tip-towing into credit card debt.
which is whatever i guess.
i'd really like to give this country the chance it deserves but beyond money i don't know how much longer i can last down here. i spend a lot of time alone, which could be ok if that were an active choice but i'm living in a really solitary apartment in a town with the kind of night life where you really need to know where you're going. i think this city might be making me exaggerate how bad i am socially, like maybe i'm not as shy as i think i am, i'm just in a city where breaking into social networks is harder or at least works differently then back home?

well depending on how things go i might be back there sooner rather then later, though i keep realizing that if i go home before it hits summer here i will have the unique joy of winter part two. lovely.